ghosts & admissons

Anger will pass, as will the world you know

It appears my friends are ill equipped to handle a zombie apocalypse.

To help them I’m providing them with a helpful list as compiled by anti-zombie warrior Max Brooks.

1. Organize before they rise
2. They feel no fear, why should you?
3. Use your head, cut off theirs
4. Blades don’t need reloading (take that Graham!)
5. Ideal protection = tight clothes and short hair
6. Get up a stair case, then destroy it
7. Get out of the care and onto a bike
8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert
9. No place is safe, only safer
10. The zombie maybe gone but the threat lives on.

This isn’t some stupid list, it’s been battle tested and takes into consideration outbreaks regardless of type, durations or locale.

Graham- Your fool hearty ways will visit disaster on the rest of the group. My suggestion is to use him as a decoy.
Janice- You’re greatest strength is also your biggest weakness. Good call on being a vegetarian, fresh, healthy meat will be hard to come by. But unfortunately (?) you don’t have the killer instinct
Jason- You’re a good problem solver but you’re stubborn. I’d say it’s because you’re from Alberta, but I think you all are.
Zita- My money’s on you. You’re resourceful, and your size works for you. You can fit into small places and require minimal food to heat and energize you.

Best of luck to all of you, but fortune doesn’t favour the bold in this case. There’s only one goal. To survive.

Labels: bad friends, zombies

posted by El Chupacabra @ 1:58 AM