ghosts & admissons: a year to the date

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

a year to the date

So I’m off to Nova Scotia tomorrow. It will be exactly a year since I’ve been there. I was looking for the agenda of the conference that I’m going to online and found my travel blog from last year. Here are some snippets, and since it will also be one year of me and my g/f first hooking up I’ll preface it in those terms…

Before arriving, I had only met her once, and didn’t really like her, she had a stupid leather jacket and I was grumpy….

Day two
Nic-fitting and sleep deprived I'm back at the wheel. How I long for th spacious luxury of an SUV. G-Unit's been on the road now for about 12 hrs and riding in a midsize is our way of ratifying Kyoto in our own heart's and spine's. We're all pretty sore. Jess and Sarah in the back with Zach sleeping next to me. He's really the hero of this story. He took the midnite to six am shift. Doing it for Gerard all night long sure is tiring.

I bit the inside of my cheek and its all swollen now. So every bump we go over made me chomp down on it waking me countless times throughout the night. I awoke to New Brunswick for the first time in my life. Its open mines and quarries left geometric rock formations protruding at rude angles towards the sky. Its dozens of dark lakes, all with fog rising slowly from the water made for a spooky look. Its been a full half hour and I haven't seen a single building save for the gas station that signalled it was my turn to drive again.

I washed my face in the gas station and now my face is all sticky and gross. Arcade Fire lifts our spirits though, and the sun comes out to expose mile upon mile of beautiful forest. This is the furthest east I've ever gone in Canada and its pretty amazing, a few short hours later and I'm exploring new terrain.

Passed through Moncton on the highway, couldn't see much, missed the wonder of Magnetic Hill. On our way to Sackville where Jess goes to school. Stopped at her house where she lives durring the school year. Met her room mate Shamus, he made me breakfast and there's a couch a beautiful, beautiful couch....

The first night we hooked up, it was so rainy, and there was an umbrella….we shared it, we got over our dislike for each other. She’s was actually wearing the same shirt lastnight that she did that night. I remember her eyes and how creepy they looked, the bright pink of her lips and her collar bone and the weird angles she cocked her head at. She was confident and I was a prick. I made her blush, and apparently that was rare.

Last night was bonkers...
Went to the racetrack didn't place any bets. I saw too many people licking their wounds from backing the wrong horse. “Daddy Daddy Daddy” sure disapointed a lot of people.

Went to the Brison hospitality suite last night, some one gave me his cell number and I didn't believe it was legit. So I called it and I watched him hop up and run into the hall to take the call. I felt bad, I made this dude leave his own party. I just said wrong number and hung up. Oops! Sorry Scott my bad.

Woke up this morning and my pants were soaked. I was pretty worried like “ah man what did I do last night?” Walking to breakfast I realized it rained. Let's hope that's water...

Missed breakfast, damn time change!

Moments before it all went down, I wasn’t expecting it, I had actually forgotten that we flirted. My head was spinning, my eyes were blurry. She relives convo’s we had that night that I don’t even remember but am still impressed at my suavness/sexual harrasness.

On the way to the bar. Wearing mascara and looking fly. Robbie's sister meghan put it on but there was a little problem with the bottom lashes. They're tricky but still looking lusheous! Going to peakes. Should be a good time. Had a Dion and GFK hospitality suite good times. I love pirates, ask anyone who knows me, and Dion had a privateer theme. I fit right in Arrg!

The next day, we shared a smoke around the corner from the dorm at the fire exit where I pissed myself the night before. I tried to play it cool, I was thinking about what she might be thinking. I wanted to be cool and retain the reputation that got me here in the first place. But I also wanted to be sweet and tender. I wanted to be a considerate lover and ask her about her needs, her hand dangeled by her side and I wanted to touch her slender fingers. She squinted from the sun and the hangover and I couldn’t place her. I couldn’t read what was happening. I hadn’t eaten and my berry was fucked from the rain the night before, I had to go to Mcdonalds. I left with out taking her order.

Brackley Beach
Just played a great game of soccer. Maybe 8 on 8 but a pretty good crowd. Me, Perry and Alex couldn't connect on anything so I never scored. My buddy Chike aint here, he usually finishes for me. Mark Holland played, he's pretty competative but atleast he didn't rough me up the way he did when we played basketball at his house.

Sitting on the beach right now and its real hot. The Bob Rae ppl brought some popsicles but they're all melted now and I'm gross and sticky. We're all here, some playing volleyball, others throwing jellyfish at each other. Perry got hit in the arm and its stinging now. I offered to pee on him but he politely declined.

So I'm working on my tan right now, trying to get honey dipped.

I saw her there, I thought about how good she looked in her red swin suit. I knew she would read the above post so I didn’t say anything, I didn’t mention her. I purposly ignored her. But in reality I listened, I listened to her self involved stories about dress code and Poland. I rubbed thick sunscreen into my buddy’s girlfriend and watched her confidence. Her ability to bend over infront of a group of horny boys and brush sand from her legs or stick her chest out as she shook the sea water from her hair and pulled at tangles.

Good Bye P.E.I.
It was a good few day on the islands. It took a bit for me to adjust, their slow drivin, their $13 smokes, but I really liked it- we all did. In the car we stared out at the bluest blues and the greenest greens, every shade a brilliant contrast. Rust coulored dirt and puddles of tomato soup, an artists dream. Our hands out the window we played with the wind between our finger tips, the sun stung our skin but all was well, even country music sounded good right then.
We stood on the beach eyes squinting into the ocean wind, giant sand dunes stood behind us. Huge mounds covered in long grass. Made for a pretty crazy sight. Most hills with grass are generally soft rolling slopes, but these jutted up and down at impossible angles. The wind cutting akwards edges through them, all the while the long grass waving around in the tempermental wind.
There white churches everywhere, in the middle of nowhere, and although they’re not large I wonder if they have the local poulation sufficient to fill the pews each sunday. I looked at the map on the way to Cavendish, apparently it doesn't take much to get on the map in PEI. North and South Grenville, St Annes, all tiny places, not even a store just a sign welcoming you. Literally that's all. A small island that gives a lot of credit and celebrates and acknowledges the doings of the local people. And rewards them with there name in print next to every other collection of 5 houses.
Off to halifax, Zach at the wheel. Brian Clow has joined us, we convinced him to change his flight so he can come to Scott Brisons bbq. I wish my girls that I live and work with are here. They'd love it, they wanted to come, but alas could not. Good for Dells, she spent the last week on the beach in hilton head or something. At least I have Matt Eason, he's all the fun of Mary Rose, only he can drink more-thanks for the help btw!

Going to Scott’s in Nova Scotia, didn’t know that I would see her there. I had already gotten emails from buddys across the contry congradulating me. She was that big of a deal. She got emails within minutes of leaving the bar with me scolding her. She took a chance, I took a chance. That was it we were done. I was sure of it.

East Coast Privateers

When I last left you I think I was just touching down in New Brunswich off the bridge. A lot has happened since. We cut through NB and hit up Sackville again. Sat at the bridge street cafe. Drank lemonade and lattes on the patio. I was happy to discover that if you live there your called a “ Sackvillian”. Wish Bradford had a cooler name...
From there we headed to Nova Scotia. We got the invite to go to Brisons bbq, so we booted it trying to make it in time. I was driving and it was the most challenging road. I loved it I wish I had a porsche or a lambo, the palms of my hands hurt from the hairpins and twists. It was a lot of fun.

I'm from the country and I'm familiar with rural towns, but here is something different. No real towns to speak of, just county homes, one after the other, with decent sized plots, but placed regularily along the road. No long intervals between settlements, just one long line with no particular congregation. In PEI there was little villages dotting the countryside with distance between them, here you could argue its one long neighbourhood. If you threw a blocparty people would have to drive 2 hours to attend.

Drove along the bay of fundy, its waters were a deep red, I guess that's what it looked like when the Nile was turned to blood. We stopped off in Shubenacadie for a break, met a russian dude who was working there for the summer. This guy must have really felt out of place, but he had a kick ass job as a white water rafting instructor.
Getting tired of blogging, my eyes are a bit fuzzy. Tell you about Scott's later...

We hooked up that night, I didn’t have a berry so we passed sexy messages back on forth on hers. I though her cowboy hat was stupid, I didn’t know she was from the west. Her friends teased me, I was out of place and outnumbered so I took it, but really I had little respect for her. It was that damn hat. Pushed up against the white boards of the house I held her, we kissed and were interupted. We climbed rickety stairs and found a bedroom. We stood for a long time, the hat was off. Her lips still pouted quizically. Barrett’s Privateers kept ringing in my head. The light was bright and fell harsly on her features. We both hadn’t showered, the blanket was course and we were facing south. Again I saw her collar bone, slighlty wasted her hair smelt like the camp fire.

I passed out, I didn’t see her the next morning. I thought that was that. I was off to Halifax to visit my buddy. It wasn’t until I was back in a hot and steamy Toronto that I heard from her again. I knew I had broken hearts when I was away, I brushed it all off, even her. Shadows in my door way ridiculed me and I stared out the window like I normally do waiting for her to arrive.