Monday, December 10, 2007

Harmony for sale; slightly used

I’m having a perception crisis these days, or maybe it’s a perspective crisis. I think I have been existing with a very ego-centric view of the world that places me at the centre of everything. Like the world isn’t something that has existed forever and its roads I travel or spaces I go between aren’t permanent things and I just a small part of it. I think I’ve regarded the physical world as just a creation of my own mind, like its something for my viewing enjoyment subject to my own existence.

I’ve caught myself zoning out as life happens and I regard it as nothing more than a film or cinematic field passing before my eyes. Like a passive movie going experience, I can turn it off if I want, or be affected by it in only a transitory way. I’ve always known I can’t command the heavens to rain blood or anything but I think I’ve misdiagnosed my place on earth.

Which sucks because I hate relativity, I don’t like the idea of people being able to see what I see and interpret it differently. I hate that subtle nuance isn’t a manifestation of my genius at work but a universally accepted fact, no matter how funny or clever I think I am.

Which is also subject to interpretation…


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