Friday, November 30, 2007

Only thoughts, dont' worry, only thoughts

Been a rough few days, my grandma had a stroke and I spent some time with her in the hospital. She’s 50/50 I’d say and no clue on a full recovery or not.

She told me she didn’t think she would make it but asked if I could turn on some music. So we sat and listened. It made me really sad to think, I would want to do the exact same thing if I were about to die. Music is so important to my whole family that it only seemed fitting, and then it became even sadder as I realised how similar we are and the threat of losing her became all the more painful.

It was like we were going through the same thing, just minus the physical pain for me. Mutually losing memories. Orchestral music that sounded like a soundtrack to calm meadows, like the ones she used to summer at by the lake as a child, like the ones we used to cross to pick and press flowers when I was one.

My mom said that when I was a kid I didn’t cry when I found out that my parents would die, but I did when I found out my grandma would.


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