ghosts & admissons

We used to be friends

Back at the scene of my first Saskatchewan pants wetting I felt an extreme sense of calm. Like a warm sort of peace that nuzzles against your neck as you lay your face on its soft belly. My body may be in a bit of shock, I did just have a rape party run on my ass for the last 28 days and it culminated in some very poor decision making.

So luckily my body and mind have been spared by some sort of chemical my brain is releasing to tranquilize me. If death is merciful then I’m mighty close because I’m having some serious grace bestowed upon me right now. Which isn’t necessarily a happy thought but I’ll take it rather than face a wall of regret.

When my grandpa’s sister died he kept forgetting because of his short term memory loss. We had to keep reminding him that she died and thankfully he would remember rather then experience the same shock over and over. Your mind can do funny things, but I fear its just a co conspirator to blunt the sting of consequence so I fuck up again.

Well off to drink....thats sure to help the situation.

posted by El Chupacabra @ 8:53 PM