Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Google it, it's true

Ok this is weird, Bollywood actress Aishwarya Rai married a tree to overcome the astrological discrepancies between her and her fiancé. She believed that she was cursed and the only way to break the spell was to marry a banana or a peeple tree. WTF?

It gets worse; the Indian government is now charging her for participating in an ancient custom that’s demeaning to women. So on top of some nasty dendrophelia (thanks “Can’t Hardly Wait”) there’s this absurd state paternalism dictating what she can and can’t do with her body.

Because of her spiritual connection with the tree (no word on if they did it yet or not) she demanded that the tree was a witness in the case. Refusing to allow the state to uproot this “newly wed” tree they had to go on a field trip to the damn thing. Upon questioning from the prosecutor the tree plead the fifth. This infuriated the court, as money was spent on taking the judge, jury, court reporter etc to the tree.

Maybe I’m missing the cultural significance or something but why the hell did the court entertain such a request? I know she’s hot an all, but this is really weird.

On a similar note, my friend came over to my parents’ house drunk as shit. He was talking about a girl at work that was harassing him and he really didn’t like her. He said he’d fuck a tree before ever getting with this girl. Then he turned to my little bro and said “Do you any good trees around here with holes?”


At 2:18 PM, Anonymous Dendrophelia said...

state paternalism is sucky.


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