ghosts & admissons

"I Fucking Need You Now!"

I had a reader ask me when I was going to post again. She said she missed my posts and this must be what happiness does to you. So I started to wonder, a) am I really that negative? and b) why the hell do people like negative stories about me? So in an attempt to counter this and remain funny and appealing while still positive I will share with you a current story.

I waxed my ass the other night. After the required amount of beer, and enough karaoke to bolster my spirits. (I haven’t stopped singing “total eclipse of the heart” since) we swung by shopper’s to get the home waxing kit and headed up to my apartment. So there I was with my girlfriend behind me, her friend RLC to my right holding my hand and my friend JM trying not to puke in his mouth. I was propped up on a pillow with my ass in the air doggy style preparing for the pain. I felt awkward talking to RLC as my girlfriend gently applied the first strip. JM kept muttering “what are you doing?” and my girlfriend was quietly shushing him. A loud rip filled the air and my eyes rolled back, and everyone erupted with laughter and a lot of “oh Jesus”. I didn’t have strength to respond and sort of just clucked my tongue. I buried my head in RLC’s lap and chewed her jeans as strip after strip was pulled off my ass. By this time JM has left in disgust and RLC had started filming. The video shows a pathetic version of me, my face contorted in pain, and humiliation.

This continued for 10 or 15 minutes and reviewing the video the next day was hilarious. After it was all said and done, I was pleased with the result and my silky smooth ass, but couldn’t stand. I no longer cared that I was naked; I couldn’t formulate words, just mumbled and stumbled around, my balls flopping all over like crazy. All in all it was worth it, and would definitely do it again. I may have lost a lot of ass hair but gained a profound appreciation for the lengths women go to “perfect” their bodies.

posted by El Chupacabra @ 1:39 PM