Sunday, December 10, 2006

The shape of things to come

So as I mentioned yesterday I had spent the past two weeks or so in Montreal. For the second week I really only spoke to one person. I picked up the few French phrases that occurred repeatedly, like what to say when someone sneezes and stuff like that. Really the only notable discussion I had with someone else was during dinner at an Afghan restaurant. While my date picked through her dinner I struck up a conversation with a man beside me. He soon explained how he was an alien and had come from a distant solar system. He stated the nature of his journey was a pilgrimage to visit the graves of his ancestors. "Aliens used to live on Earth?" I questioned. "No", he replied. "You are our ancestors."

Turns out that Earth is used as a sepulchre to house the departed souls of aliens. And that Humans, including myself, my date and everyone in this restaurant were in fact dead aliens. "Why even your leader George Bush is one." he remarked. "Well actually that's Stephen Harper, but that still explains a lot" I replied.

All this happened while my unaware date drafted a plan with borrowed pen and paper to organize and mobilize young versions of dead aliens for political purposes. She didn't look up, unaware of this conversation. So this begs the question that if we're dead, why are we still alive. The answer lies within our proximity to the sun. On their distant planet(s) the sub atomic particles of the sun didn't reach them as intensely but due to our relative closeness they serve to animate our lifeless bodies. Its the same principle that allows superman to leap over tall buildings because gravity was stronger on his home planet. Still largely in disbelief I continued to questioned him.

"So assuming the sun animates us, what happens when we die?"

"Your sub atomic particles expire, thus ceasing you animation"

"So why is it that we can still think independently"

"Muscle memory, and pre formed cognitive pathways"

"So how can we interact with each other, I mean this all sounds so random, how can we have cogent conversations with other humans if we're just repeating previous random thoughts and movements?"

"Socialization is a stronger force than you have even considered."

Digesting these points I swirled my wine silently, smelt it took a deep gulp and held the glass to the light to look for streaks.

"You see, you are trying to send signals. Look at me I am accomplished, I am smart, I appreciate true value. All these are frivolous and vain, yet day after day all over the world people conduct the exact same exercise to try and project the fact that they are climbing or on top of your social hierarchy."

"Okay, so what about child birth?"

"That's how we transport our souls from our land to yours. We call it immaculate conception. I believe you've heard of this"

"So we're just derivatives of your soul? But how can we just be made of soul? We're solid matter?"

"Yes, just imagine what are bodies must be like then."

Then I paused to glance around as I tapped my solid fingers on the solid table in front of me.

"I can't" I said sheepishly

"I know you can't, you have no reference point."

"So what about love" Hoping to stump him.

"Just a perversion of the soul. You see you have such a limited 'life span' here on Earth that anything that detracts from what we considered natural, which is self-preservation is a perversion. You use your limited duration of animation to expel energy on someone else, therefore day by day sacrificing your own life for that of another. I supposed the saddest things from your inferior point of view is that in doing so you are also destroying the one that you love."

"So aliens don't love? You focus solely on yourselves and the continuation of your own existence?"

"Yes, how else would we become superior beings."


At 4:21 PM, Anonymous Very Berry Pancakes said...

Goodness... i certainly hope your date didn't overhear. What a dinner damper!

At 10:20 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

everything is starting to make sense now...

At 2:33 PM, Anonymous a loving human being said...

Superior beings?
How about human beings.
Let love in.


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