Friday, September 08, 2006

Take a look at me now....


Before I was the worlds foremost expert on monsters I was a rapper. At the time I took it very seriously. We'd have weekly practices, writing sessions and we'd work on our back ups. So yeah I have three albums under my belt but I never really got to the point that I wanted as far as my ability to communicate what I wanted within the parameters of 16 bars or what have you. So I just recently moved and came across some of my writing, I've come a long way, I used to touch on a lot of different subjects that frankly I'm not so impressed with now, but near the end I progressed a bit. Heres some excerpts to document the journey...

From the violent....

"Causin' trauma like a suicide bomber so grab your armour/Cuz I'm gonna eat M.C.'s like my name was Jeffrey Daumer/ You fuckers think it's sick, you mother fuckers bet it is/ Fuckin' kids, I'll have you leavin' here with prosthetic limbs..."

To the blatantly sexual...

"Yo I score all the time and I don't even practice/ Fuck three bitches in a row you can call it a hat trick/ So throw your mom, your sister, your girlfriend in the mix/ When I'm done fucking these broads I'll throw and octopus on this bitch.."

or

"I came through and locked down the whole metropolis/ Shit every girl in Toronto just wanna get on top of this/ I only slide with chicks that operate in twos/ One in lace one in leather like the Moulan Rouge/ And girls are like liquor, yeah I'm hittin' fuckin' all of them/ From your darkest pint of Guinness to your pinkest cosmopolitan.."

To the hopelessly vain...

"What it gonna be your girl of your jewels/ I run in this mother fucker and cause your bowels to move/ My voice commands respect just like a powerful tool/ and if you don't be coming correct I'll have to shower you fools/ Never a bad impression, check this raw debut/ Shit he's fuckin' rough, yeah that's what your mom said too.."

After which point I got over myself, there was definitely a need to check my ego and examine my self a bit, which yielded the following...

"It's a sad place and time when you come to your senses/To find yourself trapped behind a series of fences/ A 40 hr work week weighs 1000 kilograms/Even the illest man feels confined by circumstance/ Yes I'm compassionate, but still this is my job/Yes I'm egotistical but I still know when I am wrong..."

Then I travelled to Australia and it opened my eyes to a lot of things...

"Now I know what it's like to suffocate/To lie awake with your mind at stake/ And in these days, you start to gauge/ How at this certain stage you've misbehaved.."

I kind of came across the idea that I wasn't living right, not by my own fault, but due to the super competitive business school environment. I thought I was invincible and made some brash decisions....

"I came upon death and then I laughed into its face/ And I held the same position until I saw my grandpas grave/ So here I stand before you, the invincible man of fame/ A shadow of myself looking for a better way/ So then I quit drinking and I lost like 20 pounds/ And I made some wrong decisions and I'm feeling singled out..."

I experience some set backs with the break up of my long term girl friend and things got a little ugly...

"Your not killing time, it's killing you/ Filling you with hate that you'll be instilling soon/ In younger ones, in another's sons/ Turning air to ashes in someone's lungs/ Don't make me choose between guilt or regret/ Push your lips to mine and inhale this burning breath..."

It gets worse and worse in terms of levels of despair, however, I became increasingly pleased with my use of imagery and my heightened creativity. So Its was a long process from vain superficial regurgitation of pop culture to a more aware sense of self. It helped me through a bunch and I have tonnes more. I think one day I'd like to write some more....

4 Comments:

At 1:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow shows your um progress from various stages of your life, how you write seems like ure a black thug, but I take it your a whiiiiiiiiite boy, your pretty fly, for a white boy! haha there's definetly talent there, but i dont think ure as bad with the girls as u write you are.......... or maybe im just naive

 
At 6:21 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

I like the colour scheme! Great blog. keep it up...

just kidding. i'm just catching up so i've read everything all at once, ray's astrophysics lessons and all the invasions.

i really enjoy readin this - you got a neat way of saying stuff.

if i knew who you were I might ask if you wanted to hang out sometime, go to that carribean place we used to go to - or the spice... but we've never met. too bad so sad...

be good,
me

 
At 1:27 PM, Anonymous Santropol Coulant said...

So what brings out your most "heightened creativity"? Anger, sex, or sadness?

 
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