Tuesday, September 05, 2006

"Good morning heartache, you're like an old friend to come and see me again...."

This weekend I ran into an old friend. I was very surprised to see them as I was in Montreal. I was first properly introduced to them when I was 18 in Scarborough. We sat in my car after a particularly eventful night full of fights and threats of fights. We nervously chatted over pizza, adrenaline still coursing through us. Over the years we became very close, always bumping into each other at very inopportune times; before my first rap performance in Gilford, or during an embarrassing row with my girlfriend in North York.

I had gone almost two years before seeing them when all of a sudden I ran into them several times this summer. Each time were brief encounters where we largely ignored each other, we passed by and were relieved that we didn't have to confront the fact that we were trying to avoid each other. So there I was in McGill rez when they walked right in. I propped myself up on my elbow and squinted into their face, not believing that they actually stood in front of me. I cringed in their shadow as they told me they heard I was in Montreal. I gave a brief description of my life recently, I told them how I was bullet proof and they said they could tell that I was bullet proof then we both chucked awkwardly knowing that I was lying and was not in fact bullet proof.

Although I dreaded this moment, (we both moved in similar circles, but were always in crowded enough place so as to pretend we didn't notice each other) but here when there was nothing to distract us I enjoyed staring blankly into each others faces. They said they too were to blame for this fall out and that I ought not to feel bad. I squirmed at this in discomfort and tried to change the subject but they held fast. I had a million different excuses for avoiding them but really only one reason. So as conversation unfolded I grew more and more at ease. We listened to Bright Eyes and the Weakerthans and soon we picked up right where we left off. So now we're part of each others lives again and I'm thankful for that. Usually I hate catching up, in most cases if I grow apart from someone its due to a conscious decision of my own, but now it aint so bad. Its funny, I tied to ward them off with callous indifference or distracted vagueness but they kept pursuing.

So now I'm happy which is weird, and comfortable which is definitely weird, but its a nice change of pace.


At 9:52 PM, Anonymous Santropol Coulant said...

How mercilessly disheartening. If neither callous indifference nor distracted vagueness works, then how is one to proceed?

Personally I think you should rationalize the meeting away and blame Montreal. They put something funny in the water there. Or maybe it's the lack of flouride. Could also be the hats. Women wear great hats there. It's not fair.


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