Sunday, December 24, 2006

It was all good just a week ago….

So please excuse my absence from the blogsphere as of late. It seems that when I’m stressed, I can’t write. Other emotions are fine, in fact they help. If I’m happy it helps and I write about zombies, if I’m mad it helps and I still write about them. It seems zombies are the one constant in my life; they aid me in articulating what it is I feel. Perhaps it’s the fact that they are misunderstood, or that they conjure up images of disgust, or that they probably suffer from self loathing like the rest of us.

But it all stops when I’m stressed and no amount of chicken soup for the soulless can help. Usually I live my life blog post by blog post, a simple idea, a funny encounter, immediately I try and formulate it into words. I suppose it’s a way of organizing my life, or trying to come to terms with it, or understand. But when I’m stressed it all breaks down. I even tried to fake it, I remember walking past a church, and again on the subway, thinking, trying to describe how I felt. How my lungs burned or how my eyes ached. I tried the most gracious application of pathos to daily living and still nothing inspired me. I tried to think of my life in slow motion, or set to music, and nothing, nothing but the same distracted and mundane shuffle. I stopped shaving, I stopped listening, I stopped seeing everything that usually means so much to me. Remember those alley ways that shocked and amazed me? Now boring and routine. Call lists seem enormous, and org charts are daunting. Roll outs and concept mapping now seem like a waste of time.

I remember standing on a beach in P.E.I. and wondering what it was that I was missing? I never had those thought before this year.

4 Comments:

At 5:26 PM, Anonymous Sarah said...

Merry Christmas.
Its been a crazy year.

Just think a year ago you were giving anti-me speechs and the election which introduced me to you had begun to play out. Alot has happened and just look a year ago or even to this past summer... we all went on a journey... to PEI.. through time, through Canada, Poilitics and self.

Cheers to a new year, a new chapter and adventures to come, and of course old friends and shipmates.

 
At 3:45 PM, Blogger Sj said...

C'est ok El. We forgive u. Take care of yourself cross Canada.

 
At 7:44 PM, Anonymous Eagle-dancing borsht princess said...

What kind of a blog is this? correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't a key part of blogging doing the actual posts?

Chupa, you're THIS close to losing another reader.

Start focusing on your important life priorities. Ghosts! Admissions! Zombies! Space garbage! I miss you!

 
At 10:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

When I am stressed out, I like to win elections againist Conservatives. Oh wait, I am (rather, was) a Conservative. Ah well.

Hey Sarah, I believe that not all of the speeches were anti-you. I can think of a few that were anti-other people.

Eagle person, I think you are being a little harsh. After all, this is the holidays. I am confident El will return to ranting about the things you mentioned soon.

Sir John A.

 

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