Wednesday, December 24, 2008

I got now, I dont care whos got next!

The other day I was stopped on the street by an Ultra Orthodox Jew with his 3 children by the Eaton Centre. He asked if I were Jewish, his eyes seemingly lighting up on my approach. I said “no” and continued on my way but turned to my companion and said “Mazol-Tov bitches!”

Typically my Jewish friends don’t accept my partial Jewish ancestry and dance around singing things like “Gentile, gentile, there’s only one part that matters” while snipping their fingers like scissors and waddling side to side in a slow and what I can only assume traditional Jewish shimmy.

First of all; I’m pretty sure they use a scalpel and secondly you’re an asshole! Anyways, I wouldn’t give up my foreskin for anything, shit this thing could stop a bullet not to mention the additional benefits of prolonged endurance and auxiliary bladder if you pinch it right. Plus your dancing sucks.

In any event it was a nice, if not strange validation.


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