Thursday, December 11, 2008

A gangsta and a gentleman...

Some of my buddy’s pictures from his trip to Ukraine have started surfacing on his facebook and it got me remembering.

Remembering making eyes at a prostitute across the hotel lobby in Kiev while waiting for my passport they had in lockup. I had a pocket full of Hryvnia that wasn’t mine and I had to get rid of it anyways, I didn’t want to get arrested for capital flight. A problem we all encountered as a guy ended up giving me 200 UAH at the airport for guessing his tie was designed by Jerry Garcia. In any event I wondered if maybe I should clean the caviar from my teeth so she didn’t gouge me just in case I decided to go through with it.

I had already justified the porn mag I had bought earlier, I wanted to learn about local preference and sensibilities (didn’t know that hemorrhoids would be one of them) but this would truly be a cross cultural exchange. Maybe it was the romance of the revolution, I wasn’t exactly ducking bullets but I was all alone and my journalist friend was able to confirm for me back in Odessa the rumours of the stabbing of a Diplomat across the Dnipro just the other night, so that was enough to bolster the adrenaline enough.

Luckily I was saved by the young blonde (of course) in her leather jacket (of course). She said she was waiting for a ride from her sister but had no way of getting a hold of her. I offered my blackberry after being surprised that one of the few English words she new was “SMS”. The wedding was breaking up and the lobby was filling with people, as they started to shuffle out the door into the gently falling snow I tried my best to blend in and follow behind, craning my neck one last time to catch a final glimpse of that hookers’ panties, hoping that there wasn’t Anusol in her purse. She glowered at me and snapped her legs shut.

It was too early for them to go home, especially in the heady days following the revolution. There had to be a jazz club or a disco out there somewhere, and they were going to lead me to it.

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1 Comments:

At 2:31 AM, Anonymous coffee fiend said...

out of all the mythical, blood sucking creatures out there, the Chupacabra is almost certainly the sneakiest

 

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