ghosts & admissons: My words they dont come out right, but I'll try and say I'm happy for you..

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

My words they dont come out right, but I'll try and say I'm happy for you..

For the first time ever, I’ve edited my blog. Often I’ll sit down drunk and rant, then awake the next morning embarrassed. But through it all, I haven’t deleted any of them, until now. Below is the edited version…

Feb 26, 2007

Her(e) I am, drunk as (non sexual expletive) and ready to party. My OCD is acting up and I can’t stop smacking my lips. I pull dirty cigarette butts from the ashtray and sip water out of a champagne glass, its not that I’m classy but it’s the only clean glass. My head is swinging like a metronome to the (band that I no longer hate) and I’m chewing on candy. This post is a big fuck you to (Organization I was once mad at but have since moved on)

I just sat through a (aforementioned org) social where I heard tones of stories about fun trips to Harvard and (non judgmental description) (appropriate noun that conveys correct amount of respect) Juicy from (Italy, still hate that country. You SUCK Italy). I didn’t go cuz last year (unflattering remark) (non gender-specific insult) caused such a fuss about my giant (unintentional testosterone byproduct) and my impossible sexy eyes. I made (sucky organization) and now I sit back and watch it get slapped in the fucking face with a (post modern social movement that I have since gotten a lot of respect for) shovel. I’m cut out of the loop and can’t enjoy any of the fruits of my labour, because someone took it upon them self to (exert their free will, and I’m happy for them and their autonomy). Grrrr! I’m (unreasonably) angry (but legitimately) upset; I’d like a point of parliamentary privilege to shit all over them.

I’m dizzy and mad, my head is heavy and my lips are dry and I can’t figure out this damn backspace on my new computer. If I could pull my shit together I’d tell everyone they need to eat a dick! I could have been the (long winded self aggrandizing rant, that exposes my own insecurity more than anything else) In stead I’m stuck at this computer like a jerk complaining, sucking my lip and blinking in a fit of tormented rage and self deprecation.

Labels: actual stuff, little thoughts