ghosts & admissons

I’ve been re-reading the emails my Mom and Dad sent me while I was in Israel telling me about my grandma dying. I can also see it in my blog posts while I was there how it weighed on me. My mom would describe how the doctor explained that her systems were shutting down one by one and the physiology behind it. My Dad would speak of her eating patterns and how her personality slowly faded beyond recognition. I was full of hope despite the prognosis because she seemed animated on the calls but it was all for naught.

Apparently the doctors had given her the wrong sort of blood thinner and it had complicated thing and contributed greatly to her passing. I’ve had this bitterness ever since. I’m off my game, I’m terrible, I’m tense. I’ve been sucking my tongue until it swells and is too big for my mouth and I constantly bite it. I’ve started to drool, and it hurts my teeth as it pushed out against them.

My Grandmothers’ last wish was that if you had an argument with someone and bad blood remained that you would reconcile ith them. This one’s gonna be hard.

posted by El Chupacabra @ 1:48 PM