Friday, June 06, 2008

I just can’t help myself sometimes

So after a particularly raucous final night at the bar I headed back to my hotel. And as usual I started planning out my pee schedule. This is a nightly thing especially when drinking, when I walk down a street rather than taking in the sights or checking girls, I’m scouting locations to pee. That dark alley, that potted plant, that sleeping bum, all catalogued because even if I don’t need them now, I may on the way home.

I was very proud of myself for holding it all the way to my room (although I did have a weak moment in the stairwell when I saw those empty bottles). So when I arrive to find my washroom otherwise indisposed I started to panic. Of course the window was locked and I wasn’t really in the mood to share this side of me with my roommate who was getting lucky in the bathroom, so I headed back out to the hall. Could I make it back to the stair well? This is Poland people prob just piss against the wall all the time, what to do? So as I did my quickest, “oh shit I’m gonna piss myself hobble” down the hall I spotted the garbage can right by the elevators. I had no choice I whipped it out and started pissing. It was a glorious high intensity stream that rang off the inside of the polished metal bin. All around me elevators blinked and beeped up and down as I tried to force out this massive whiz.

I was actually surprised when I didn’t get caught, I have become accustomed to all sorts of embarrassing conversations, although I did have a twinge of awkward shame when waiting for the elevator the next morning and one of the girls on the trip remarked that “this hotel smells like piss”

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