Friday, February 22, 2008

It's only a matter of time before we meet again.

When the smoke gets in your eyes, do you trust in me? Because we all wander out in the night..."

I remember these lines, I remember thinking them at the farm, smoking behind the barn. We were young, so young that we hid our smoking from our parents. Yet we were in love. We'd curve around the shed, jostling in the muddy ruts of the soft spring ground. In a borrowed truck, with a lucky bounce of having the right cd at the right time.

I wish I could believe alot of what you said, I mean, who misses a funeral? I know what things mean, and I know your fears, years later my fears are the same. Its always spring when we meet in my memory, snow clutches curbs outside your house and small streams of melting water cut jagged unseen scars beneath the banks suspending the ice above the pavement. I talked about getting a part time job then as I balanced on them, I talk about getting a part time job as I write this now.

I wanted to drop out of school then, I have since. I've always wondered what you wanted. You never told me, you started once and I turned up the radio. You were quiet for the rest of the drive, you were quiet for the rest of our relationship.

From: Forgetful ex girlfriend
To: el chupascabras
Sent: Feb 20, 2008 2:14 PM
Subject: I'm sorry

Jace, for whatever reason I thought that grandma jean's thing was this coming saturday. I feel like shit and am really upset that I wasn't there. It's my fault and I'm so sorry. I just figured that because I didn't hear from anyone it wasn't until this sat...please tell ur parents I'm sorry.


Your words leave marks. Your actions break bones. But I can't help but forgive you.

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At 12:20 AM, Anonymous Stephen said...

it's hard to read and to have to feel

I want to hold you both


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